I would like to start off and say that I have made mistakes in my life, as everyone, but not as big as this. To divulge on the matter, I would like to say that I was charged with a category II academic dishonesty violation for a class I took over the summer for getting help through means disobeying academic conduct. Specifically, I asked for help using an online forum, which perhaps was the stupidest and most foolish thing I could’ve done and I completely am at fault and understand the consequences I faced afterwards. Upon re-entering school in the Fall for my Junior year I was accused and allowed to present my case, and I was completely honest and upfront and was given suspension for the next semester. Towards the end of the semester I made another huge and stupid mistake copying one question from someone next to me during a exam because I started panicking (which is absolutely no excuse) and being caught, and charged with a category I academic dishonesty, which I just received. Being that this is my second offense, I must convene again with the academic committee, although I don’t know when since I am suspended for this upcoming semester. However, I know without a doubt this will lead in expulsion from my university. Right now I am completely disappointed in my self, and questioning why I have wasted so much of my single parent’s money to literally have it all thrown away because of such stupid and utterly ridiculous judgments on my part — to not only do it once and get suspended for the next semester, but to engage in an offense once again and end up in an even worst predicament.
I am honestly not a bad kid, I have made mistakes, none this big, but I never ever thought I would see myself in this situation. My parent knows of my suspension but is unaware right now that I am going to be expelled definitely for violating policy once again. I am completely at fault for both incidences and should’ve just took the grades I was going to receive instead of cheating to try and get a grade I didn’t deserve. I am at complete ends with myself, and I am not sure how to bounce back from being expelled from University and disappointing so many people that thought I would be able to succeed in life. Expressing all of this on a forum is the only way to tell someone how terribly sorry I am for doing such acts when I knew the consequences. The look on my parent’s face after finding out I got suspended, has completely crushed me and to tell them back to back that I am now going to be expelled is something I never in my lifetime thought I would have to do. I am such a failure at life in all aspects right now when I only had a year or year and a half to get my degree. The amount of disappointment I have given them, is so hard to bear, and I have no idea how to cope with this, even though I caused all of it.
I know I will get destroyed here for not only committing one act, but two acts of dishonesty when I should’ve learned my lesson, but I need a place to come to, because I feel as if my life is at its ends right now. I made two huge mistakes that have basically destroyed everything I worked so hard for, but I don’t want to give up and continue to disappoint myself and everyone else around me. Because I am almost 99.9% sure I will be expelled right now, I want to see if there are any options at all for me to try and continue my education despite the horrible choices I have made. I am not sure if I was not mature to handle situations away in college, but seeing as this was my third year, I can’t even fathom why I would do this to myself. I was never one to cheat, and I waited until the time where it mattered most to do it. I was wondering if it seemed like a good idea to apply for CC here where I live and try to get back on track for a year or so and than perhaps reapply to another school to get my Bachelor’s, or go for a internship even though I don’t know how I would explain being expelled, or even get a job. With my mindset right now I am so depressed, confused, and feeling so destroyed that I don’t know how to handle all this. Can anyone please give me any advice, bash me more for my stupid and completely ridiculous decision, or just be here to talk about similar situations, so I can see what I can even do in my life right now. Thank you so much for any and all help.
I also want to add that I have completely learned my lesson, and will NEVER commit academic dishonesty again even though it took two times and expulsion for it really to get in my head. I also know how harshly dishonesty is seen, so I apologize right now for putting anyone in a bad mood from reading this.